I Can Be More Miserable Than You. One-Upmanship Gone Amok
Misery no longer loves company.
Nowadays, it insists on it.
Mr. X: "I have a cold"
Mr. More Miserable Than You:
"I thought I had a cold but it turned out to be the flu, probably swine flu although it could have been another type......but serious I tell you...I was sick for weeks with a fever and a horrible cough and finally had to go to the doctor...The doctor, who was NOT very sympathetic, told me I should have had a flu shot but of course by that time it was too late wasn't it?...Really, what's the point in telling me that after the fact?..
I had to get a note for work because I simply couldn't go into the office for weeks (little breath)...Then, to top it off, I think my dog caught it because Barker was making a funny wheezy sound and was off his treats... So, we took him to the vet and the poor little guy was put on medication and believe me that's no fun for any of us (little breath)... We should really all take vitamins during the winter...My wife had it too....was it before me or after me?..I can't remember but let me tell you what her doctor prescribed. I thought it would kill her. I don't know why everything happens to me...
In the meantime, Mr. X has collapsed in a heap on the sidewalk because he really is sick and he couldn't find a way to stop the unstoppable Mr. Misery from spewing out his endless story.
This sort of kills the adage "misery loves company". Misery doesn't love company. Misery wants to be King of the Miserable and look out anyone who stands in the way!