Wednesday, 11 August 2010

Air Travel and Customs, Don't Carry Scissors!

The world has changed and so has air travel. 'Well duh' you say, but it's not as easy as that!

Packing has become a major problem. Used to be we’d worry more about weight than content.  Now it's a matter of weeding out all the things we once thought essential for the plane.   I wouldn't dream of carrying forbidden things like fireworks, signal flares, fertilizer, hairspray or perfume in my bag. I used to think I needed toiletries and such but no longer.  Not me.  Just a magazine and gum - I'm ready for take off.

I did make a  big mistake once going from Paris to Nice. I had packed very quickly and forgotten I had………nail scissors in my purse.  OK.  Now you can say "duh".

“MA –DAME! QU'EST CE QUE C'EST?” (whipping out the ‘weapon’ up for all to see). The Air France staff all looked at me like I had personally offended each and every one of them by this contempt for the rules.

Alors Merde!

So I mumbled my apologies –

Oh I’m sorry
Pardon!
Keep them
I don’t want them
How did they get there?
I didn’t mean it!
They might not even be mine
What are they?

Lucky for me the panic in my voice must have told them I was innocent so after frisking me, they let me go. Whew. That was a close one. (What kind of mayhem I could get up to with a pair of nail scissors I don’t know. They’re only tiny tiny tiny ones and even if I jabbed them straight into my heart they would barely puncture the skin). But I guess that isn’t the point (pardon the pun).

These guys get in and out of Paris a lot easier than me!

Seems to me I almost always get stopped at customs. Joe, my husband, can pass right through with a nod and a smile. Me?  I'm under suspicion.  I always have to take off my shoes for them to inspect. They look at the shoes, look at me, look at the shoes, look at me. I wear different shoes every time we go away so I’m beginning to think I have pieces of metal embedded in my feet some place.

Customs has stopped me so often that I would be upset if they just waved me through now. What? You don’t care anymore? I could very well have a WHOLE BOTTLE of Givenchy in my bag you know!

Oh, one more thing -

Once at Canadian customs I was told that a box of candy IS considered food and I have to declare it next time. Just so you know!


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6 comments:

  1. That was great..."How did they get there?" "What are they?" "Candy IS considered food?" Darn it all.

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  2. good to know that candy is food now I rest assured that I am following a balanced diet...your blogs are so much fun, Susan, like Gail S. I just got caught up the other day, most amusing writing. xo SD

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  3. I'm pretty sure that candy has replaced fruit on most diets now. It's pretty well an established fact that we feel better when we eat candy!

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  4. Anonymous8/11/2010

    Candy is considered food! Don't let my husband read this!

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  5. Who knew? Candy? Food? Nail scissors? Weapons? All good to know!

    Stopping by (really late) from The Lady Bloggers Society Tea Party to say hi!

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  6. Susan, you really need to stop dressing like a terrorist at the airport. And *Gasp* Nail scissors?! Now I'm offended! Humph.

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