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Friday, 17 October 2014

What Not To Do During A Conference Call

This is the "Life" portion of Life, Laughter and Paris......

Not long ago there was a big meeting called at work.  A BIG meeting.  Those employees on location met in the boardroom.  The rest of us out-of-office people called in to listen.  Normally, "listeners" hit the 'mute' button on the phone to keep out background noise......

But there’s always someone who forgets

I know this has nothing to do with the topic.  So what? It's PARIS!


“I really want to hang up now but I don’t want them to know that it’s me leaving.
Do you think they’ll know it’s me?  Can they tell?  Will they hear a noise?
I don’t know how this damn thing works”

Now I didn't recognize the voice - he could have been anywhere in the world.  But….someone must have recognized him.






Call me paranoid, but I’d never say anything like this even if my phone was muted.  I just wouldn’t take the chance.  I’d stay at the meeting even if I was doing something else.  Which I wasn’t.  I’m just saying.

I'm just full of tips this week!


Wednesday, 15 October 2014

Back To Reality....Very Un-Paris



Not Reality



Sadly, Paris is now behind me and coming back to reality isn't pretty.  It's not vacation, it's not Camembert sandwiches, red wine or staying awake thinking about the fun I'm going to have tomorrow.  It's not museums, galleries, the Seine, cafés, or drinks with friends at Harry's.  It's not a lot of things.  (I'm not complaining mind you...oh, yes, I guess I am). 



Closer to Reality






The crash landing wasn't quite as difficult this year because I had a heck of a cold upon returning to Montréal.  No time to dwell on the beautiful, only time to keep blowing my nose and whining.  "I'm sick....poor me....a cold AND a cane....have you ever seen anyone suffer like this"?  Anyway, it's helped me to concentrate on something other than not being in Paris.  (But I'm starting to feel better so will be miserable soon if you follow me).






Reality
And with all the "suffering" I've been doing  I haven't had the energy to go through my photos and papers. Am I the only one who comes home with bags of what I like to call, 'ephemera'?  (Others would use a different word, but 'ephemera' makes this pile sound so legitimate don't you think)?  Brochures, magazines, business cards, gallery info, ticket stubs, receipts. Of course I won't be keeping all this.  It'll probably get tossed well before 2030 or so.


Anyway, the next best thing to being in Paris is to hold the memories close to the heart until the next visit.  I'm going to start going through that mountain of paper......maps.....keep.......cards.....keep....... everything.....keep.....



Thursday, 9 October 2014

What Not To Do Before Travelling

You know how it is when you're really really looking forward to something?  I mean REALLY looking forward to something special....like a trip to Paris? Well, here's a little travel tip for you - and it's a pretty good one -
  • Do NOT go out to buy new shoes a few days before your flight, tear your meniscus while shopping, and end up wearing a knee brace and using a cane for support. Of course this is just my opinion. You can Google "Is having a knee problem a good idea when travelling?" to see what others think. 
    A little hobble through Père Lachaise Cemetery
    Should you end up in this situation, and it must be pretty common, my two packing tips - 
  • Don't bother bringing more than one pair of jeans no matter how long you're staying. You probably only have one pair that will fit over a cast-like brace anyway.  Or, you could try them on before leaving if you're that organized.
  • Bring a good big shoulder bag because with a cane, you only have one hand available to carry stuff.  Personally I go for big pockets too.
My essentials.  I can't go to Paris and not buy a portfolio!
Paris is still Paris and fabulous no matter what the circumstances. Seeing all the art and visiting the great book shops, I'm totally inspired to get back to my blog and work on some new paintings. Most of the paintings will probably be from a sitting down perspective, but that's good too. I've always been good at sitting.



Monday, 22 September 2014

Once Again, Monsieur Charles Aznavour

No need to give a fan review of the concert Aznavour gave in Montréal last week.  First of all, you know what I'd say.  Everyone who knows me in the slightest knows what I'd say.  Even people who don't know me know what I'd say.  And really, Aznavour doesn't need a review.  I'd have some nerve to even try.

Instead, I thought I'd give you a little sample of why I really have trouble with some people.  Really.....

Many years ago I had bought tickets to an Aznavour concert at Place des Arts.  The best seats a row or two from the stage. I had gone to buy them the minute they went on sale and it was worth it. Well, turned out hubby couldn't go so I invited a friend.  Gave her the ticket.....on me.....I just knew she'd be in heaven because she told me how much she loves his songs.  Guess what she said after the show.  Go on.....guess.

"He hit a few flat notes".

Well, let's just say I've spent more time in the same room with Aznavour during the last 10 years than with her.  A lot more. (And there were no flat notes!  Hear me?  NO.....FLAT...NOTES).

Why would anyone say something like that?  About a person's hero.......and that's why I like animals better than people.

Aznavour has always had a soft spot for Montréal and Montréal for Aznavour.  He was performing here at the beginning of his career and continues to share his remarkable talent to the delight of Montréal fans. (Who incidentally went wild during his two hour non-stop performance full of energy and life....but I'm not doing a review). 


Aznavour in Montréal in 1962.  We hadn't met yet.

Aznavour will always bring the heart of Paris to me when I can't be there, and I'll be waiting in line for his next concert.

M. Aznavour S.V.P.



Monday, 4 August 2014

Opinions Galore

Lunch hour conversations can be so entertaining.  Especially when you're eavesdropping (not on purpose naturally), and can just enjoy the blah blah blah flying back and forth.

"The Eavesdropper"Nicolaes Maes (1634-1693)
I wasn't as blatant as this...of course no one was
painting my picture (as far as I know)
This particular conversation I accidently overheard opened with comments about the gym (“the very best in the entire universe except for that trainer Arnold who’s such an asshole”).  This naturally led to deep discussions on politics, the best “secret” wine and then onto how “the woman next door should really sell her house….. well, because.” 

“Of course Scotland should be an independent country.  Why not?  I’m sure they’d do very well.  If California can do it…….no?......oh I thought they did.  Well, I haven’t been for a few years”.

“My friend makes the best Bordeaux wine you’ve ever tasted.  The BEST.  It’s blue.  Have you ever heard of that?  She sold me a carton and it was gone in no time.  I guess that’s the only problem….it evaporates. Although now that I think of it, it could be something to do with our air conditioning….it happens to us a lot”.




“Don’t talk to me about fossil fuels.  Of course they should be eliminated.  Everyone knows that.  The archaeologists must be having fits losing all that material.”


 "The Eavesdropper"
Nicholaes Maes (1634-1693)

“Anyway, I understand that the world will be totally out of food by the year 2016.  Or was it 3016?  Well whatever…..the point is we’ll have no food!  Think of it!  We should start stockpiling canned goods for our great great great grandchildren”!

…."They shouldn't have put that building there….."

…."The buses should be another colour...."

“And the woman next door!  Why does she need such a big house?!  She can’t afford it and she rattles around the place like I don’t know what.  No, I've never spoken with her.  She’s such a snob she won’t let me set foot in the place.  But I know for a fact she could live in Thailand for the rest of her life without any worries”.

Well you get the gist.

Now I'm wondering about this Nicolaes Maes.  He seems to have done an awful lot of paintings of people eavesdropping.  Maybe it was a popular hobby in the 17th century.  In my opinion, he should have done other things.  He was in a rut.  A nice still life perhaps.  Yes.....if only he had had someone to chat with over his lunch break I'm sure his name would be better known today.


Monday, 14 July 2014

Numbed by Numbers



 

Mush Head

I've been very neglectful of my blog lately and  I feel just awful!  It's working on the computer all day....it can be draining to concentrate for HOURS on end.....

Anyhoo, I just can't seem to shift from the left to the right side of my brain when I get home.  Or is it the other way around? But we can't control what goes through our heads can we?!  And if I can't think of anything intelligent to say, and if my tired mind wanders...

(What happened to Cadbury's Snack Bar?  Why can't we get it now)?

It's not only my blog that's been on the back burner.  I haven't done any art work for yonks and I'm starting to feel out of it if you know what I mean.....focus, focus, focus......oh.....

GUESS WHAT!  

Aznavour is coming to Montréal in September!  Eeeeeek!  I'm so excited!  September 17 to be exact and I'm off to get my tickets tomorrow.  (Aznavour is 90 and still going strong.  He doesn't seem to have any problem concentrating.  Must be something in the water). 

Aznavour at his day job....at night

(It's really hard to find books on the Amazon from Amazon.  I wonder if you live in the Amazon, if it's harder to make a return? Do they just keep coming back?)

September/October is going to be great.  I'm always inspired with the cooler weather, Aznavour will be performing here, then I'll be heading for France........I can hardly wait.....

I'll forget all about the computer.........
  • negative numbers
  • rational numbers
  • irrational numbers
  • real numbers
  • complex numbers 

Hey!  Just like people!  All hard to understand!  

Aren't you glad I didn't decide to write about the letters too?  ABCDEFG....blah blah blah



Monday, 2 June 2014

Miss Titled (But Not for Long)!

Life, Laughter and Paris has been a little short of something lately -


Life 
That's not it.  I'm still breathing.

Laughter
I'm still laughing at a lot of things.  Most things actually.
Paris
Bingo!  Therein lies le problème.  A little lacking in the "Paris" part of the title.


Well after all these years I'm not changing the title of my blog - that would just be stupid.  Much better to go to Paris and get back to writing about the subject I love best.  I have to wait until the end of September but with ticket in hand, I can make my plans.

I've started a little list -

Museums

I had to be selective because I'm not going to be there that long.  (I can't even remember where the washrooms are in the Musée d'Orsay - what if someone asks me)?

  • Centre Georges-Pompidou (Unless it's an exhibition of neon chairs or something)
  • Galerie nationale du Jeu de Paume (I love this place)
  • Musée des Lettres et Manuscrits (I will love this place)
  • Maison de Balzac (I love this place)
  • Maison de Victor Hugo (I love this place)
  • Maxim's Art Nouveau "Collection 1900" (I love this place)
  • Fondation Henri Cartier-Bresson (I might love this place - my photographer wants to see it)
  • Musée Bourdelle (I love this place)
  • Musée Carnavalet (I love this place)
  • Musée d'Art Moderne de la Ville de Paris (Sometimes I love this place)
  • Musée d'Orsay (I love this place)
  • Musée de l'Orangerie (I love this place)
  • Musée de Montmartre (I love this place more than some of the others)
  • Musée du Luxembourg (I love this place)
  • Musée Picasso (Is reopening in September after being closed for yonks so I haven't missed anything)
  • Musée Rodin (I love this place)
  • Musée Zadkine  (I love this place)
  • Mémorial du général Leclerc de Hauteclocque et de la Libération de Paris (I'm sure I'll love this place)

I've decided to leave out the Louvre.  Really - that's just a bit too much.  Anyway, the list needs work.  I have to do some reading this summer.

Then of course there's the rue de Seine and area with all the great print galleries.  And of course Shakespeare and Co. for a few books.  Oh, and walks along the Seine and Harry's Bar....  I'm going to sleep for a week before we go to have plenty of energy.

Not only has this Paris starvation diet made me post less, but I haven't been inspired to do any artwork either.  It's definitely time to head to France.



Tuesday, 29 April 2014

Feeling A Little Quasimodo-ish?

With the crappy weather we’ve been having, the lack of sun and all, people seem to feel a tad on the dull side. Snow would almost be better (almost). Waking up to these in-between, dreary, nothing sort of days is beginning to wear thin.


I know you’re thinking “well, it’s probably just HER” - but no…….I’ve even asked people “Hey – you feeling good today?” Mostly they just ignore me or give me “the look”.



"How ya doin' fella?".
The Look
"Great day to be inside huh?"
The Look


It's almost too much to even hope for a response.  Numb.  That's what people are feeling.....just numb, and possibly dumb.

"Had a bad day?"
The Look

I just know come May 1st we'll all wake up, signs of intelligence will appear in our eyes, and we'll possibly be able to think up a good response to "good morning".  Our lethargic states will suddenly disappear and we'll...

I'm too tired.   I'll finish this in May.  Or when the sun comes out.  Whichever comes first.

Monday, 7 April 2014

The Amazing Ross Sisters and Family

I don’t often brag about our showbiz relations, but there is talent in the family.  Well, it could be family…..I haven’t checked out that branch yet.

Just take a look at the Ross Sisters.  Are they fabulous or what?  Living pretzels!  I could do that if I wanted to.   So could my sister.  I guess it would seem kind of weird in the office though.  They normally frown upon this sort of thing.




The sisters were named Betsy Ann Ross, Veda Victoria (Vicky) Ross, and Dixie Jewel Ross, who used the stage names Aggie Ross, Maggie Ross, and Elmira Ross respectively.  Aggie, Maggie and Elmira.  I can see why they changed their names…..Betsy, Veda and Dixie doesn’t have that theatrical flair.


 
You should try this....

According to a note I found at home, my brother thought “Betsy” would be a good name for me.  Of course he was 7 when he wrote it and I was just born.  Can you imagine going through life as “Betsy Ross”?  Maybe the “flag” Betsy Ross could stand on her stomach too but never had her picture painted that way. 

I don't think Betsy Ross' Granddaughter was
as flexible as the rest of us.  But, I could be wrong.

I must get back to working on the family tree.  I still have to check on Katharine Ross, Marion Ross, Shirley Ross, Bob Ross (the painter in the family before me), and Diana Ross (another name my brother thought would be good).  Maybe we’re all just one big happy family.  

Monday, 24 March 2014

Selfies - You Should Probably Keep Them To Yourselfie

There are way too many "selfies" out there of people having breakfast, at their desks, sitting on the bus.....oh God I'm falling asleep just thinking about it!  Just because you can.....(if you know what I mean).

OK - I can see why Ellen did it for the Oscars. People wanted to share this photo on Twitter because it was, after all, the Academy Awards and it was entertaining for those of us (goofs) who stayed up for the show.  Something to do while we waited for the good parts.

Good example of a "Selfie"
And see.....they all look good and well, famous.  No eggs dripping from their chins or lint on their suits.  (Although we all know the dresses, tuxes, and jewellery were on loan).  Still.

But this "selfie" business is getting out of hand.  Waaaaaaay too many!  Apparently, all these photos people are taking of themselves (for no apparent reason) is becoming a problem.



From the International Business Times

According to psychiatrist Dr David Veal: "Two out of three of all the patients who come to see me with Body Dysmorphic Disorder since the rise of camera phones have a compulsion to repeatedly take selfies.

"Cognitive behavioural therapy is used to help a patient to recognise the reasons for his or her compulsive behaviour and then to learn how to moderate it," he told the Sunday Mirror.

I haven't looked up "Body Dysmorphic Disorder" yet but it can't be good can it? 

Anyway, I don't see what the big deal is.  People have been doing this for yonks, even without smartphones.

Selfies by Rembrandt, Renoir, Van Gogh and Picasso.  
The difference is (besides the obvious), the artists didn't send their faces to all their friends and their friends' friends because their friends and their friends' friends probably didn't want to see their faces first thing in the morning.

I would love to see your selfies if you're standing beside the Queen, the Pope, an alien or anyone of similar interest.  Also, count me in on your mailing list if your face shows up during an event similar to VE-Day, an Aznavour concert,  anything Paris related or the Apocalypse.  Any photo that includes only you with your arm stuck out just enough to crop the shot to your face at MacDonalds......no.

I bet you're wondering why I was reading the International Business Times.  Ha! Me too.




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