The "F" Word

“F” stands for February and there's nothing funny about that!   It's the only month that's mispronounced too.  Who cares?  It's a rotten month full of freezing temperatures and flu.

No matter how you look at it, this is a miserable time of year. Actually, I’d say it comes in around 12th place. We don’t even have a holiday this month (or next come to think of it).

To start the day off right, I got stopped by a police officer outside the metro station this morning.

“Do you have the time?” she asked.

I pulled my iPod out of my pocket to check the hour and what do I get for my kindness?  She snatched my pod out of my hand! Fiddlesticks, fudge and February. I fell for it. The police are out in full force today trying to make people aware of the felonies going on in the metro and she was demonstrating what not to do. OK. Good idea…..a little late for me having been robbed last month….but good. Of course I wouldn’t have pulled my iPod out for just anyone…..still, I get the point. Keep it hidden at all times.  Now if anyone asks me for the time, I’ll just tell them “fffffffffffffffour o’clock”.

And by the way, in case you hadn't noticed it's leap year so we have an extra day this February.  Too bad they couldn't have extended June....but there you go. No one asked me.

Paris Belongs To Me

Quick - name any author you associate with Paris.  No thinking now......just spit out a name!

OK.  Maybe you didn't immediately think of Hemingway, but a lot of people do.

Harry's Bar
A crappy photo but anyone who's been there
would recognize this window, no problem!

This is the only quote I have in my repertoire -

 If you are lucky enough to have lived in Paris as a young man, then wherever you go for the rest of your life, it stays with you, for Paris is a moveable feast.

― Ernest Hemingway

Too bad for me it's a quote about a young man.  Hemingway didn't write anything great about women (at least not that I remember).

Hemingway - Paris - Paris - Hemingway.  Every bar in Montparnasse, Shakespeare & Co., this street, that restaurant.....there's hardly any direction you can turn in Paris where you don't run into Hemingway.  He drank here, lived there, liberated one area, had fights in another......seems like Paris wouldn't be Paris without Hemingway but remember, Hemingway wouldn't be Hemingway without Paris!

I've seen you, beauty, and you belong to me now, whoever you are waiting for and if I never see you again, I thought. You belong to me and all Paris belongs to me and I belong to this notebook and this pencil.

― Ernest Hemingway

And so a toast - to Hemingway and all his Paris haunts that we still love today.  I know he'd approve of any excuse to raise a glass to Paris!

Keep Your Chin Up and Out of the Snow

Dear Friends in France,

I’m truly sorry that you seem to be having our weather. We have no idea how this happened, and I wish there was something we could do to help.

Apparently global warming and the greenhouse effect haven't hit Europe yet.  Quite frankly, I don't know much about it except if I throw my newspaper in the garbage, I'm to blame for the temperature rising.  All I can recommend is you stuff Le Monde into the nearest poubelle and see if that helps.

In the meantime, if you need any of our inventory we'd be glad to share.

Shovels
Boots
Scarves
Mitts
Ear muffs
Leg warmers
Long underwear
Rum

Just drop me a line and I’ll pop them in the mail.

On the brighter side, spring is just around the corner -March 20, 2012

This photo was taken in

Paris in March, 2006.  So you see,

it won't be long!

Give Me The Simple Life

I’ve decided that this dog-eat-dog life isn’t for me. (What a disgusting idiom – who came up with that one)?

Life should be simple. Life should be fun. Less complicated and stress-free.

So, I’m thinking…..how about living on a boat. Roughing it. Just off the top of my head - the Seine would be nice. That would be pretty simple wouldn’t it? I've watched these boats and the people living on them just seem to sit there enjoying life day in and day out.  I could do that. Maybe once in a while I’d actually get off my rump and go to a museum or out to dinner. I think I’d like it.

So. First I’d have to get to Paris. (Note to self: work a bit longer). Then, of course, I’d have to get a boat. Let’s see….a few bedrooms (our friends will want to visit), a studio, two bathrooms, and a kitchen if there’s room….or is it called a galley? Doesn’t matter. We wouldn’t use it much whatever it’s called.

Then, I guess I’d need a place to park it. Right beside Notre Dame would be handy. Or under the Eiffel. There never seems to be wall to wall boats in that area so I guess that wouldn’t be a big deal.

What else? Oh….maybe we’d need to hire someone who actually has been on a boat and knows how they work. (Although I don’t plan on using it for travel – I get motion sickness).

STOP THE PRESSES!

Forget all that. I just got the news – Charles Aznavour is coming to Montreal in April so the boat thingy will have to wait. How can I concentrate on boats with this sort of news in my head! Eeeeeeee!

BTW – I don’t want to take all the credit here, but I did leave a message on Aznavour’s Facebook page asking him to come back to Montreal. I’m just saying.


M. Aznavour SVP (My meetings with Aznavour)

Aznavour in Montreal April, 2012

Victor Hugo Is Starting To Annoy Me

The Hunchback of Notre-Dame, or Notre-Dame de Paris (1831) if you prefer the original French title, is storytelling at its best. I’m sure Victor Hugo would be pleased to know that 181 years after first printing, he continues to make people like me miserable thinking about the tragic Quasimodo and the love of his life, Esmeralda.

I’m a huge Victor Hugo fan but I don’t think I can take much more of him. Notre-Dame de Paris was bad enough, but add to it Les Misérables (1862) and I’m totally, well, misérable. In this book it’s poor Jean Valjean who does the suffering for stealing bread during hard times, and is haunted and hunted for his remaining years.

Victor Hugo thinking.  And thinking.  And thinking.

A glutton for punishment I’ve read both books more than once and although I keep copies, I doubt I’ll ever read them in their entirety again. Maybe a chapter here and there, but I just can’t go through all that heartbreak one more time.

I might get brave and try out some of Hugo’s other books. Surely he wrote something that doesn’t make me feel like I’ve just been hit by a car. One of the titles The Man Who Laughs has promise…..but I have the feeling it’s a trick and I’ll end up swearing off Hugo one more time.   I already know how The Last Day of A Condemned Man will end without so much as opening the cover.

VH could draw better than most of us too

In the Marais quarter of Paris, you can visit the Maison Victor Hugo at No. 6 Place des Vosges, one of the oldest squares in Paris. Hugo lived here from 1832 to 1848 and his apartment has been turned into a charming museum which holds his personal ephemera, furniture, drawings and manuscripts. It was here that he wrote “Les Misérables”.



Daumier portrayed Hugo with a swelled head.
Well why be modest?  I'm surprised it didn't explode

Unlike his books, the museum is not at all depressing unless you count Hugo’s magnificent talent which, quite frankly, seems to be a bit much for one person. Seeing all that this man accomplished, most people leave the museum feeling they should paint, write or at the very least get elected to some National Assembly before time runs out.